Virginia Reimer
Marriage Therapist
Nanaimo
Specialties
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Marriage Therapy
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Communication
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Infidelity
Individual Therapy
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Domestic abuse
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Co-dependency
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Self-worth
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Changing habits or patterns
My Style of Counselling
The counselling techniques I use vary depending on the situation and your learning strengths. However, my overall approach is to see how the past is impacting the present. I find change comes through examining and changing expectations, perceptions, feelings about others and ourselves. I tend to ask my clients questions that help them examine things in new ways. Often I will use the material in the moment to help the client learn experientially about styles of communication and new ways of doing things. As a creative person, I offer learning experiences that enhance the client’s ability to understand behaviours. In addition, I maintain a lending library and handouts for clients, as a means of encouraging and supporting their growth.
I do not see the behaviours clients bring to the therapy room as defining their worth, but rather view these as ways they have learned to cope. I engage with my clients in a way that demonstrates for them that I value them, while challenging them to move and grow.
A Bit more about Me...
I am a mature, seasoned therapist who is dedicated to continued learning and skill building. Over the years I have developed my knowledge and clinical counselling skills in a number of approaches to treatment. For example, when you see me I might use elements of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help you think differently, I might teach you tools for improving your communication, or I might help you explore how the past is effecting the present in an effort to get you 'unstuck'. The elements I blend together is intentional, not hap hazard, and is chosen to get you to your goals. I am not here to tell you what to do. Why would you want to pay me when there are many people who will tell you for free! We explore together what it is you want and what it is that is keeping you from meeting your goal. We then get down to business fixing it. In the end, you make the choices, because it is you who must live with the consequences! I guide you in determining options based on YOUR values and beliefs by providing psychologically relevant information to help you make the best possible choices that support you at every step of the process.
I have lived on Vancouver Island for the past 23 years and love calling Nanaimo my home. For me being in the outdoors is revitalizing. When I am not in my office you can often find me out working in the yard or in the backcountry exploring new trails, or on the water in my kayak. When the cold and damp forces me indoors, I occupy my time with family and friends, decorating, building things, fabric arts and reading.
My passion for working with families began in my early twenty’s while in college. As I aged and matured from a young adult into a parent myself, I also came to the conclusion that the things we learned and experienced growing up in our family are very hard to disinherit, even when we want to. I recall vividly saying to myself as a teen, I am not going to be like my parents and then feeling such shame and discouragement as I behaved with my own children as I swore I never would. When I reached a place in my life where I could admit to myself I was like my mother, I started to explore the family system I was a part of growing up and was finally able to make lasting changes. When my three children were more independent, I returned to school to pursue my Master’s degree.
Before completing my Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy I had worked with children and teens, young pregnant moms and parents. After completing my Masters I worked for a while counselling women, while starting my private practice. I knew long before I pursued my Marriage and Family counselling degree that I wanted to work with couples. This was partially because I relate well to both men and women, but mainly because I know from my own marriage of 35+ years that when you connect deeply with another person it can be so rewarding. However, you can also grow discouraged from becoming very stuck, and you begin to ask yourself “is it worth it?” I am passionate about helping people see the way out of their fixed ways. Therefore, today the majority of my private practice is dedicated to assisting couples and individuals in getting unstuck and find fulfilling relationships, or where this is not desired or possible, supporting families as they transition into their separate new world.